Blind Dates Are Blind For A Reason...

I have decided that blind dates primarily exist for two reasons: 1- So that you can learn how well your friends DON"T know you, and 2- So that when you finally find your Prince you'll be so thankful to have him and you'll know what an amazing Prince he really is! It always starts the same... Your friend approaches you with a huge smile on their face, "Hey! I've got this GREAT guy I want to set you up with! He's really fun and really sweet and I think you two will have a good time!" Did she say "really sweet?" ...Crap!

So I get set up on this blind date and first of all I just want to say that when you go on a blind date... you should make it a double. That way when you and your date don't really hit it off, there are other people to talk to when things get awkward. Although, a double would have saved me from this experience and I wouldn't have this great story to tell you...

The guy was late, (no surprise there) to pick me up so I was waiting on my couch in my front room. I was watching through the front window and saw him pass my house three or four times before he figured out which one was mine. It shouldn't have been that hard since I told him that my house is the second one on the right... Oh well, I wasn't going be too hard on him.

When he made it to my door I opened it and was pleasantly surprised. He was actually pretty descent looking. I thought to myself, "I might actually enjoy this blind date." So we get in the car and he tells me we're going to hit a few golf balls on the driving range... okay. Usually they just go with miniature golfing but I'm all for trying new things. Now, you have to understand that golf and me... we're not friends. I always feel like an idiot trying to get that stupid ball to go into that little hole. Now I had to try for distance so I thought maybe it would be better. I was always hitting the ball too hard anyway.

When we pulled into the parking lot he got out of the car and I waited, as all girls should, for him to come around and open my door. I waited... and waited... finally he walks over and looks at me and shrugs like, "hey, what's the problem?" Then I saw the light bulb turn on and he opened my door. "Oh! I was confused for a second. most girls open the door by themselves." ...Charming. We walked over to the range and started hitting the golf balls. I thought to myself, "This isn't too bad." ...But then he showed me the golfing stance... boy, did I feel like an idiot or what! Squatting there with my head forward and my butt out there for the whole world to see! Who invented this game anyway? I'm sure it was some guy who only invented it so that he could teach a girl how to play. My date was happy to put his arms around me and his hands on top of my own so he could "teach me the proper technique." It was awkward but I finally got the hang of it. I hit one ball 100 yards! Which might not be great but for me it was amazing!

After we finished the golfing he took me to my favorite restaurant, (The Olive Garden. Mmmmm!) The dinner was good... the conversation could have been better. He talked about himself a lot with an occasional badly delivered, cheesy compliment. Ha ha! I'm not gonna lie, I enjoyed that part. But I didn't know whether to say thank you or laugh on some of them.

After dinner was done, he brought me back to my house. It hadn't been the worst date but I was looking forward to getting home. When we pulled into my driveway he says, "It's a little early. Why don't we go do something?" This is where I should have just told him I was tired and gone inside but, nope. I said, "Okay, what do you want to do?" So he took me to a park so that we could swing. That part wasn't too bad until he decided to be cute and push me. Once that got uncomfortable I jumped off the swing and ran over to the spinning toy. I'm not sure what it's called but it's the one that you push around and around and then jump on... let's call it a merry-go-round because that's what he called it. So I push and jump onto that and head for the middle. He decides he wants to join so he comes and starts moving it faster so I stop in the middle and grab onto the bars behind me. He hops aboard on the opposite side and starts making his way toward me. Yikes! I'm looking at him as he's getting closer and closer and I swear the thing is spinning faster and faster and I'm thinking, "I'm trapped! There's no escape!" Finally he gets close enough that I have to start leaning back. Take a hint! If I'm leaning this far back, I probably don't want you close to me! So finally I get to the point when I can't lean back any further and his face is so close to mine that if my head hadn't been turned to the side our noses would be touching and he says to me, almost in a whisper, "I've never kissed on a merry-go-round before." Ugh! If I didn't already feel sick form the spinning I sure did now. My reply- "Me neither but, I don't kiss on a first date." as I think to myself, 'and you're not getting a second.'

Well, he jumped off pretty quickly laughing, "Yeah, me neither. I was just joking." ...of course you were... So after that the date was pretty much over, thank goodness! I walked through my front door and let out a big sigh! Yep. Blind dates are definitely blind for a reason.